centaurs-other-testicle:

japert:

Friends with mean and overprotective parents

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when they are so overprotective you guys can hardly hang out

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Being the friend with overprotective parents

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ohitsjustkim:

esm398:

jakebumlick:

pika-brew:

pika-brew:

My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.

The guy said sure.

So we decided to leave a nice little note
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and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!

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oMGGGG

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pizza cares

Pizza understands

pizza spelt its own name wrong

"Fall in love with the sound of her voice, because that’s the first thing you’ll lose when she’s gone."

sentimentalvelvet:

cartel:

mikemanmiller-us:

cartel:

if every mistake you’ve made was written in a book, would you read it?

Mine would be a 5 book trilogy with books as big as Harry Potter

trilogy.. 

””“5 book trilogy”“”“

dreamofbecoming:

Reasons abortion should be fully covered on all insurance plans:

  • If you can’t afford an abortion, you definitely can’t afford a pregnancy
  • If you can’t afford an abortion, and are forced to carry a pregnancy to term anyway, you sure as hell can’t afford a child

Who the fuck do you think you’re really protecting here?

mangomamita:

edwardsheerran:

andthatlittleblackdress:

honestly sometimes in school people say the most ridiculous shit and I make this face and look somewhere at an imaginary camera like I’m on The Office

My school has security cameras in every classroom and I’ve done this at least 3 times each class this entire year. Today the security guard came up to me and told me I was his hero. 

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cetaceas:

*hears child crying* *takes birth control*

QS